"You thought my banana was a bomb"

Evolution of Security is the blog of America's Transportation Security Administration (TSA), a 43,000-strong bureaucracy that guards US airports from the terrorist menace. The blog's banner sounds a grim warning:

"TERRORISTS EVOLVE. THREATS EVOLVE. SECURITY MUST STAY AHEAD. YOU PLAY A PART"

Sounds like a scary blog. But it's not. In fact, it's rather banal. Evolution of Security wants you to feel warm and fuzzy about homeland security. It wants to "facilitate an ongoing dialogue on innovations in security, technology and the checkpoint screening process". It offers helpful tips about what you can and can't bring on-board commercial aircraft in the US: "We just wanted to let you know that lighters and nail clippers are allowed through the checkpoint." The writing style is light and chatty. And it's written by Bob, Ethel, Jay, Jim, and Chance, TSA transportation security officers, who sound like a fun crew:

"Hi! My name is Ethel and I'm from Wisconsin. I like music, I love ice cream, and I adore weird facts: Did you know that elephants can smell water from as far away as three miles?"

The newly launched blog has attracted a deluge of comments, mostly from hacked off airport travellers who think that TSA and its petty bureaucrats suck. Common gripes include rude airport security staff, lengthy delays, having to take off shoes and hand over liquids, and being subjected to body searches. Some comments are hilarious:

"You thought my banana was a bomb. It was not a bomb. It was a delicious and nutritious fruit."

"I want to warn you that with the kinds of shoe laces you find on dress shoes a terrorist could easily sneak up behind a steward and take them hostage by threatening to strangle them. I think you should consider confiscating business shoe shoe laces."

Some have praised TSA for using the blog to engage with public concerns. But I agree with Curzon at Coming Anarchy who writes: "instead of improving their shitty services, they’ve started a blog...to tell you about the great job they’re doing".

Bullshit evolves.

Comments

[Christian]

it´s strange what an unintended amusing source they´ve created enabling comments on their blog - although it´s not really funny at all.

[Don]

Peter Gutmann, world renown crypto and security expert has a lot of interesting comments to make about "fake" security.

His demolition of the case for using RFID tags to "improve" Homeland Security is a joy to behold.

Some background for your readers:
http://www.cs.auckland.ac.nz/~pgut001/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peter_Gutmann_%28computer_scientist%29

[Peter]

Thanks for the links, Don.

[ualfrequentflyer]

Hi, Wow im so happy about this website b/c i have so much to say.
First of all, a question. I would like ot know, who decides which airports get premier screening lines (ie if youre going 1st class you can bypass) and which dont. Like Dulles, Denver, Laguardia, LAX all do, but then like Baltimore doesnt. Why not? The lines are so long in baltimore!
just curious.

Ok also. Can I just give some friendly advice?
I have this little pocket swiss army knife thing (its like as thin as a credit card, fits in a credit card slot on my wallet). So once, you guys took away my knife. But then i lost my wallet a few months later, and i got a new one. I got through security TWICE not realizing i had that little knife in there! Sure, im not dangerous, just your typical business travler, but if IM getting through w/ it, who else is too???!??!!?!? very scary

also, the liquies thing, while i understand the need, it seems like they really dont do a good job enforcing it. Like at many airports theyll get upsetwith my ziploc bag and say no you have to use ours which is 3oz and make me pour it all into another bag. understandable, except alot of times, Ill notice that in my pocket of my purse, I had a little bottle of perfume or lotion, and htye never even notice those! maybe you guys should do a better job checking. just more advice annonymously.

[homeinkabul]

I must admit, I TOTALLY smuggled my favorite lipgloss on the plane to the US. And I was going through Gatwick security (which is stricter than the U.S').

In my defense, it's discontinued and it's the prettiest shade of burgundy. I couldn't part with it.

I heart English airplane security.

[Kotare]

There are just some things you simply cannot do without, and will brave hell, high water, and airport security to hold on to.

I like your blog, and look forward to reading about your work in Herat.

[Curzon]

The "banana bomb" comment was indeed hilarious, and still makes me smile everytime I read it. The TSA are such a bunch of buffoons its painful.

[Kotare]

I occasionally check in on Evolution of Security, just to read the inane posts they keep on putting up. Good for a bit of light relief.

[Anymouse]

As a freq traveler world wide I must say that TSA i doing a pretty bang up job considering they have only been around since 2001. In their defence I have to remind everyone that they are there to help PREVENT all of us reliving the events of 09/11/01. How qucikly evveryone forgets. Do you realize most of TSA screeners are veterans and deserve the respect of all americans. You only see the tip of the ice berg with the airport screeners, there is so much more to TSA than meets to eye. The screeners are earning a living protecting you, me, our children, and fellow americans from any of the FREAKS that mean us harm. Give em a break, follow the rules, and we can all get to our flights quicker and without problems. Thanks TSA and to all the Veteran Employees, Kudos for a Job well done.